TWENTYFIVE.

Yes, as the caption you can see up there. I'm turning to 25 this year and I'm proud of it. Any objection? Won't listen to any though. Grin.

As the times goes by, feels like so many things I wanted to do but I'm not capable to do so yet. Well, bukanlah maksudnya aku tidak cukup umur (did I mention I'm 25 this year?) atau tidak cukup matang. Cuma mungkin kadang-kadang aku menjadi ignorant kepada kehendak  diri sendiri. Ah, selalunya memang macam tu. Simpan duit kemain nak beli itu, nak beli ini. Dan cukup, tiba-tiba macam sayang nak pakai. Sudahnya duit tu ke lain. Hahaha.

25 dan masih single adalah taboo bagi masyarakat Melayu actually. Not to mention who or who, but you know exactly what I mean. Pergi ke sana dan ke sini, tak sah kalau takde orang tanya bila nak menamatkan zaman single. Tak kisahla soalan ditanya secara direct or indirect, joking or sarcastic. Tapi soalan tu memang  adalah menjengkelkan. Lagi-lagi bila berkunjung rumah saudara-mara, there's cousins around your age yang semua dah dok sibuk jaga anak.

"Dok sibuk pegang anak orang je, bila Mak Yang nak tengok kamu punya pulak?"

"Kerja, kereta, semua dah ada. Tunggu apa lagi?"

"Kahwinla cepat, nanti dah tua takde orang berkenan,"

Selagi tak jawab, skema soalan boleh menjurus kepada yang lebih dahsyat. Kalau aku jawab, skema jawapan aku nanti bakal menumpahkan darah airmata pulak. Ceh.

Jodoh itukan rahsia Yang Maha Esa. Dia yang mengatur sebaik-baik perjalanan hidup kita sebagai hamba-Nya dan siapalah kita untuk menidakkan Qada' & Qadar yang telah tertulis? Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui segala rahsia baik di langit, atau di bumi, atau yang berada di antara kedua-duanya. Aku cuma perlu bersyukur di atas segala rahmat-Nya, dan berdoa.

My life isn't perfect. And I'm not looking for a perfectionist either. I still have so many things to prove to myself, and to my parents also. If he can be with me through up and down, maybe there's a place for him somewhere here in my heart. Okay, now I'd sound mellow myself. Ppffftttt.

Well now. As I become older, I'd wish to be more mature and I can control my subconscious mind more. To save more money wisely, of course! Tell you one secret, I'm looking for a car. Hope everything goes smoothly. Oh, for all friends and family who had wished my birthday, thank you. Ingatan anda menbuatkan saya rasa diingati dan disayangi. Semoga kamu semua dilimpahi rahmat daripada-Nya.

Untuk kamu, ye kamu yang sedang membaca tu. Happy birthday dear. Even I'll might be the last person wish you, but I want you to know that you are always on my mind. May you have more and more years to celebrate. :)

UNTITLED II

Bila saya senyum,

Tangisan di dalam hati membunuh sedikit kemanisan.

Bila saya ketawa,

Retak hati ini membelah jiwa.

Bila saya diam,

Otak saya berfikir,

Ligat.

Cuma,

Orang tak tahu,

Dan tak perlu tahu.

Secret,

Should be remain as one.

Maybe,

Until one fine day. 

HI 2013.

It was quite late actually.
To be precise, it's Jan 24 and I'm a bit late to wish a Happy New Year to all.
Did I? Or no?

Well, last 2012 was quite a drama.
As you can read, there's a LOT of emotion through the years.
And there's more inside than what you can see.

I can't say I'm having a good year, but it didn't turn out to be half bad too.
How to say?
I was glad, and happy for what God has planned for me.
Allah surely know better, and I know I need to be thankful for the gift.

Honestly, I still couldn't achieve the dream I had for last year.
But surely this year, will work hard for it.
Because there's already staicases for me to climb up.
Just a little bit of patient, more hard-working, tawakal and doa,
Surely the result will be more than I've expected.
In sha allah.


To myself,
With love.

Untuk Si Kecil.

Hadirmu dinanti sekian lama,

Walau terletak diantara,

Nyata kamu punya,

Tempat luar biasa. 

Haykal nama diberi,

Bagaikan permata hati,

Sejuk menjadi penyeri,

Walau bukan milik diri ini.

Menjadi tanda tanya,

Bila kan berjumpa,

Mungkin esok atau lusa, 

Untuk bersua muka.

Kamu adalah misteri,

Dalam hati ini. 

Happy 1st Birthday Baby,

May you will have more and more birthday to come.

Love and kisses,

xxx.